3/1: finding the beauty

oooooooof, has it been a rough week. but having survived all my midterms (and hopefully doing well on them???), i’m feeling good and ready to get back to focusing less on boring school requirements and more on the things that i love doing. so today we’re ~finally~ talking about something that is really very important and exciting for me. i don’t think i’ve mentioned it before on the blog, but it has popped up a few times in my instagram posts/stories. and that topic is photography.

the story of my first camera isn’t an elaborate or detailed one, but one of coincidence. we were on a family vacation in arizona, checking out a few colleges for my brother who was about to embark on his journey into higher education. if my brother was finalizing his decision of which university to attend, that would leave me to be around the age of thirteen, as young and confused as ever. upon checking out of the hotel, i was designated with the task of checking under all the beds to make sure we wouldn’t accidentally leave something behind. and between the sighs and groans under my breath, i found it. a tiny little point and shoot digital camera. just hanging out under the bed. there were only a few miscellaneous photos on it and nothing that would have identified the original owner, so my parents let me keep it. at the time, it didn’t seem like much, but looking back on this years later it makes me question if there really is some greater force out there steering us on to a path to discover our greater purpose.

now i can’t tell you if it’s true, that there is a greater force or even that there is a greater purpose for everyone because so often it seems like life is only as meaningful as you allow it to be. but i can tell you that finding that camera did spark something in me and i haven’t stopped trying to capture moments through the lens of a camera since.

i can also tell you that coming into my fifth year of college i was absolutely filled with dread. i didn’t want to be here and i didn’t think that i would be getting anything i needed from it. i already accepted a full-time position and i saw this final year of school as a roadblock before starting the rest of my life; fulfilling pointless requirements to receive a piece of paper that would somehow justify that i could do what people already knew that i could do. but low and behold, with extra time in my schedule second semester, i decided to enroll in an introductory photography class. ever since my college career had started, i felt like i had lost all of the parts of myself that were interested in so many other activities because i had to exert all my energy into learning everything i could about one specific topic. other, more creative activities, like drawing, painting, writing and most importantly photography were all left to the wayside. and just like finding the camera that fateful day in an empty hotel room in arizona, it seems a lot like destiny that i had to be here for a fifth year so that i could take this photography class and rediscover something that i use to absolutely love.

but moving on to the actual purpose of this post, my first photography project. for this project, our creative minds were only limited by two requirements. the first, that the subject matter had to be found naturally in the world, as in not curated or organized in some way for the picture. and the second, that they had to be in black and white. so without completely over explaining, this is the inspiration behind my final photographs. these pictures, or at least to me, represent trying to find the beauty in a situation where you feel altogether stuck, confused and restless. and that is essentially what i love about photography, how the slight change of perspective can take something totally ordinary and turn it into art.



with love,


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