3/30: the distorted self

hey HEYYYY it’s me again and i’m back with yet another post about my recent endeavors into the world of photography. and considering this seems to be the only thing that i really wanna be writing about, it makes me think that i am maybe, probably, eventually going to transition whatever this blog currently is into a photo diary? but regardless, that is something to figure out another time. but for the meanwhile, today’s post is all about my second photography project.

if you read the last post, you might remember that those photos were required to be black & white and ‘finders’ photos, meaning the subject matter was naturally found in the world. welllllll, for these photos we had exactly the opposite requirements. but if that isn’t clear enough for ya silly little brains out there, these photos had to be in color and constructed or manufactured in some way. and BOYYYYY was i excited about this. because while taking photos of things i find in the world is fun, there is something about the experience of conceptualizing an idea in your head and turning it into a physical moment to document that is just absolutely unparalleled.

so as i’ve said before and i will continue to say, i really could not tell you the point of our life as human beings on this planet. but there is absolutely no denying that we are here and we are experiencing it. and while we as individuals can connect over shared experiences and mutual thoughts, there is also no denying that we are all different and unique in our own ways, so what really matters to me is having the ability and taking the time to learn who you are as a person and what you have to offer that is different from everyone else. although this sounds nice and fun in when said, it is by no means an easy thing to do. it’s something i’ve struggled with for as long as i can remember and i imagine lots of other people in the world do too. so the original concept for this photo series was a set of 10 photos, each getting at a specific idea about the self. but really the ideas fall into four bigger themes. and here they are:

infinite versions

every person we interact with has a different set of experiences with us and those experiences are further interpreted through the different filter of each person’s mind, so without even thinking about the possibility of other dimensions, there exist infinite versions of ourselves at any one point in time.

others opinions

when we spend too much time focusing on how other people view us rather than the way we know ourselves to be, we end up very lost, confused and broken. you just really can’t focus too much on that shit because you are never ever going to experience yourself through another person’s eyes, so why bother theorizing what people are going to think. what you think matters.

manipulation and deception

we have the ability to manipulate how others see ourselves by the way we present ourselves to the world. the clothes we wear, the hairstyles we sport, the things we post or repost on social media. this is a little bit inevitable because unless we spent every second of our lives with someone, we don’t have the ability to see the full picture of a person’s life. but let me tell you, you are getting into some very sticky territory when you are intentionally deceiving someone by only showing certain parts of yourself in order to give them a particular image of you.


the way that other people view you has the ability to change the way you view yourself. have you ever had an experience where someone told you something negative about yourself which then, in turn, made you change the way you thought about yourself and then even further the way you behaved? i think everyone has. and this is just a very strange idea that in some ways, the way we self identify is dictated by the way others view us.

so with those ideas in mind, i went into this having very very specific images of what i wanted these photos to look like, to the point that i even sketched them out. but as it so often happens during the creative process, things changed. and while some of the photos did turn out exactly as i had envisioned, others flopped and some were just not even possible with the resources that i had. and that is just the way that it be sometimes.










well if you made it this far, thank you for looking at these lil guys. considering this was the first photoshoot i have ever got to organize and create myself, i think it was definitely a success!!! and also a very large thank you to all the very wonderful ladies who helped me do this. they are all fabulous people and the most supportive friends ever. welp have an amazing rest of your day. okay that is all.



One Comment

  1. really neat idea and commentary, and I love the photos!


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